Most of last week was a costant challenge for me - really discouraged, frustrated etc. I wanted so badly to soak in what the speaker was saying and come to a real understand of who God is and as a result find myself. I've been dealing with a lot of self image, identity stuff the last little while and hanging onto the negative and not letting God change that view. It took breaking down and realizing that I'm not those things, no matter who said it to me, whether they meant it or not, when they said it, or how much I could see it. Yesterday was my break down day after talking to a few roomies, a leader and God I realized, I'm still attached to the negative and the pain from the past and that's why I felt numb to God's influence on me. He was still speaking - He still is, but now I wonder what I was missing while I was dulling it down. I'm happy now not having to worry about insecurities, but not having to worry about what people are thinking - because chances are they arent thinking those things in the first place, plus they aren't the judge who matters - and just full out focus on God and find a confidence in Him that radiates through my spirit, soul and body for others to see.
I'm happy and I'm becoming more comfortable. I love God and I love what He's doing to me. He has a plan and I'm ready to listen and I'm willing to follow.
PS.. I love that picture.. needing a book to INSTRUCT you on how to FOLLOW INSTRUCTions. I found it rather ironic.
1 comment:
:) awh bec.
reading these makes me so happy for you.
and are super encouraging.
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