Outreach Locations

So this year they are doing outreach a little differently. There's 1 team going to Figi and Mexico, 4 teams going to Asia but splitting up after 7 weeks in Phillipines and 1 going to Malaysia, Cambodia, Bali, and Northern Australia. And another 4 teams going to Cape Town, South Africa for 7 weeks then splitting into 2 teams going to different places in Zambia, and then the other 2 either going to Lasotho (sp?) and Mozambique. So I'm very, very nervous and have until Tuesday morning to hand in my little sheet to tell the leaders where I'm going after only 3 and half days of praywer. Anyways if you would like to join me in praying about this in the next 4 days that would be amazing. If you have any comments or anything you'd like to share with me please feel free to e-mail me anytime. I'd love to read it :)
thanks again

Aussie Aussie Aussie

YAY AUSTRALIA DAY!
So yesterday was Australia day, so, naturally, we went to the river to hang out and watch fireworks. So some left around 3:30 we left around 5 because well we were watching season 5 of the Office - which took us to 4:30 so we figured.. 5 it is. We walked there.. and now my ankle hurts.. but thats beside the point. Our team was like body painted, thanks to Polly, with the flag, the southern cross (I think) some hadd "aussie aussie aussie, oi oi oi" written on them.. Shaila was completely covered (she`s actually Australian.. from Queensland which is North East of here I believe). A bunch of the guys had their entire faces painted like the flag. While we were waiting for the fire works there was an air show with jets and helicopters and those trick planes that I dont knwo the name of which was fun. They also had seadooers that would scream Aussie Aussie Aussie and of course, the crowd would reply with OI OI OI.. it was a good time people would scream the Aussie Aussie Aussie in our faces.. and then we`d just stare back.. scared for what might be coming becuase they were mostly drunk. The fire works went on for like a full 30 minutes so that was sweet. It was so nice.. it was coming from across the river and then there was a building behind us that had fireworks coming off it aswell so it was freaking sweet.
So far this week, I`m loving God, loving the speaker, and hating the cochroach that thougt he could live after running across our floor.

Beach Beach Beach

So this weekend is full of the beach. Yesterday I went with Christine and then more people came a little while later to Cottosloe's North beach .. so winding omgoodness. It was crazy because it wasn't windy until the other people came and then it just all come out of no where and sand blew like there was no tomorrow. Cool story actaully - so I somehow found the will to do my journal and finish it up on the beach - amazing I know - and then my memory verse from last week 1 John 1:7 flew out of my notebook and I was like.. crap. So I wasn't about to go chasing it down the beach in my bathing suit, so Christine and I kept watching where it went and then this man farther down bent down and picked it up and read it and then showed the 4 people with him and then read it again and the back (which had what the verse means to me on it) and then we watched as he folded up the piece of paper and put it in his bag. Christine and I looked at eachother like.. "um.. what just happened?"

Anyways so that was cool. And so today we're goind to Scarborough beach, which, by the sounds of it, is the beach with the most shark sighting around here. There was a massive one not too long ago and then a rumour of one one day the first weekend I got here. So hopefully I don't devoured haha.

Unknown Wispers

Thursday nights on base are evangelism - everyone does it - everyone has to do it. Am I over joyed? definitely not.. am I at peace with it? I am now. So on Thursday Chasity, staff, Taryn, roommate, and I were in a group to go around Mt Lawley area... our base group met at the park and we split up. We went to a bench first just to receive guidance from God about the next few hours. So we sat by the pond on a bench covered in nasty little hair loving spiders that, thankfully, only went on Taryn and Chasity and we prayed that God would speak to us about the night. So as I was sitting there with my eyes closed trying not to distract myself, I could see the little beems of light coming through my eyelids from the sun that was starting to go down over the trees. So as I sat there looking at the moving streams of light.. with my eyes closed .. yes I'm strange.. all of a sudden it all went really dark... no light. I wasn't startled or anything it was just like a change.. like "oh this is different," Like how your now shocked when you open your eyes after blinking.. anyways enough description. So it was all dark and then in the middle was this even darker silhouette of an old man and I could barely see and facial features becuase it was so dark, and he was whispering but I couldn't hear him. So I kept staring and kept listening to this man and I couldn't get anything I couldnt see his lips well enough to read is lips. So I opened my eyes like.. omgoodness what's going and on. And still I have no idea what that means. OH and this other thing. We prayed to ask God what direction we should go in to see if we all got the same answer. So I had north in my head all along and was like .. God please .. like if you're gunna show yourself subtly do it now, please God. So then I had this feeling like "I already told you.. go north!" So I was like.. alrighty then North it is. So then Chas said Lincoln street and Taryn said in the direction the wind was blowing.. so get this.. lincoln street ran east to west but was located north of where we were sitting and the wind was blowing towards lincoln street = north. HOW COOL!

anyways so thats my excitement from the last few days.

Repentance & Forgiveness 101

All this week we've been studying repentance and forgiveness and why it's necessary in our human relationships because it affects our relationship with God aswell. There was a big thing about bitterness being the break between us and God when we don't forgive others and that was huge because I was bitter at God. So all week I've been talking to Aggie, my one on one and small group leader who is now one of my absolute favourite people walking the earth, and we've been talking about how pain from the past hasn't been forgiven and is now the reason for wrongful bitterness towards God.
There was one thing that the girls in my room talked about and little and we came to one question - how come even after we confess and ask for forgiveness we still feel guilty and embarrassed? Aggie and I talked and we came to the conclusion that the enemy is feeding us lies to hinder us from forgiving ourselves thus successfully affected our relationship with God. Caleb Brownhill made a point in class that once we forgave people and ourselves God could come in heal us. That point is probably the biggest point for me this week.
There's been a lot of clarity in my life this week, a lot of hurt has come up with week, a lot of tears have come out this week and a lot of secrets.
So yesterday was the big day and when I say that I mean BIG day because we repented infront of everyone.. well half of everyone because we divided and half. But basically we got to the front, sat between our small group leader/staff member and Quenton (school leader) and repented. Terrifying. As soon as I opened my mouth I started bawling. After I was finished I had this heavy pressure that I wasn't finished. I realized after talking to Scott, staff, and Emma, roommate, that the reason I felt guilty and still hurt, was because I hadn't forgiven myself. I talked to Aggie and then as I was laying there I started shaking - not because I was cold, though it looked like it, but it started in legs and moved up. That feeling has always been God and I haven't felt it since deciding to work with Billy Graham organization 2 years ago. So it was huge. So looked at Aggie and told her I needed to go back. And I told God straight up that I couldn't forgive myself and I couldn't let go because I'm too scared to give total control to Him when I've been living in a hidden pain and tons of secrets for so long. After everything came out and all the hate and everything for people was confessed my leaders wispered that the only way that God can change my heart is to give Him permission to come in and take it from me. I started crying at the idea that I had to let go but somehow got it out.
Afterwards and later into the night I began feeling lighter, almost cleaner. Quenton said that God doesn't expect us to hand over everything right away and that taking it slow is okay. God's taking those peices out of my life and healing my heart as He does. There's more behind the story, but it'll take to long to write, if you're super curious send me a message.
Please keep praying that God continues to take the hurt out and heal me as He goes.
Thanks for the support!
Hope everyones enjoying the winter! haha

Distractions, Distractions

As the title of this post mentions I may or may not be incredibly easy to distract. Last week was awesome - speaker was fabulous - learned a lot, just all around loved it. This week however has been a tad bit more challenging in the area of staying focussed and it's driving me insane. I zone in an out and I'm totally unaware of what's going on or what's been said. By the time I clue back in I have no idea what he's talking about. Or I'm hearing what he's saying but my mind is like 3 galaxies away. Today was a little less La-La Land focussed compared to yesterday which is quite the improvement considering. This week is about repentance and forgiveness and it's suppose to be intense and challenging .. except apparently I'm missing all that because I get lost in the speakers points. Ugh I'm frustrated. Anyways, I would really appreciate and amounts of prayer - even something quick and simple - that I would be able to focus and take in everything that's being said.

Weekend

Finally we got to sleep in! So Saturday and Sunday we slept until who knows when .. and then we just layed in bed like lifeless little bodies for a few hours haha. But of course we had to hit up the beach so we drove with a few leaders in a bus to a new beach we hadn't been to yet so tha was cool. When we got there, there was a helicopter lifting 2 people out of the water... apparently, the story goes, that someone got caught far out and couldn't swim back in because of the pull .. which gets really strong. even standing knee deep is hard to stop yourself from falling hah. So that was kinda scary. It was really cool because of the cloud cover but when the sun popped out it was like fire. It was a pretty chill weekend though, just hanging out with different people and loving life. And we're back to 5:45 wake up.. ew.

* In the picture is our leader (left) and then some students. The guy in the pink shirt on the right destroyed his shoulder AGAIN .. so he was ambulanced to the hospital .. really bad.

Class

God is crazy. I've been feeling really.. out of place here. Like my hearts in the lost in found alone. Never good. So in class today we talked about God's love and Cliff just kept rienforcing it. We've heard it all our lives but we really just dug into the Bible to see the power that it really has on us. At the end we made a list of things that get in the way us being absorbed by God's love. A few are: unbelief, rejection, fear etc. When we all began to pray to have us release the sin and the problem that was holding us back I realized that my problem is a combo of unbelief and reject (they go hand in hand really). Basically I guess I realized that I don't let myself feel God's love because I'm too scared to give Him a hold on everything. I still don't feel forgiven for everything I've done so it's like I don't deserve the love. It hit me in class today that it HAS been forgiven. I just haven't let go of it. I'm still struggling to understand how to let go of it when it was such a big part of why I strayed from God emotionally. I didn't want to get close again and then get hurt (and blame it on God). He didn't do it. He was waiting for me to come to be comforted and I never went. It still feels like I've damaged the relationship too much. But in class we're talking about how God's anger is not at me .. it's at the sin and the distance it's putty between us. I want it gone and I want to feel like I'm right there, sitting with God like the Bible says, at the right had of God just like Jesus.

Hula Dancing

Every morning at like 6 we get up and go exercise.. for fun.. that's not so fun. So the last few days I did ultimate frisbee after they cut volleyball because no one actually movec because no one could play. So then today I walk to the park to start and Scott, a staff memeber, says we gotta go back to the auditorium. So I'm like alright this walking to and from the park is enough exercise for me. So we get there and Aggie and Chenaniah (sp?) tell all 75 ish of us that we're learning how to hula dance. It was so sweet. Some of us are not so coordinated. Some of us are less coordinated than the uncoordinated so it was pretty entertaining watcing. It's way harder for girls and the guys kinda just look like they are twitching lol.

Anyways it was funny and now I know a few steps in hula dancing.. we learn so much here. :)

Small Group

Today was the first day of small group, so naturally, we had small group. I believe theres like 8 of us? Maybe.. maybe not? I don't know. My one on one with Aggie (staff/leader) was good too, just shared more about me and what's going on.. nothing huge.

It was good, when everyone got together tonght, we went to the river and snacked on yummy junk food for a little while - which is a good break from random vegetables.. and undercooked potatoes :) .. just kidding. We just shared our stories of how we got here and what God's been tellinng us this week. So it was good. Nice and Simple. Pretty much got attacked by sea gulls and I realized how much more forceful Aussie seagulls are than Canadian ones.. little demon chip eaters.

Good Idea

Okay so we had our 7 pm class tonight (like all Monday nights) and we ended with worship randomly and we were planning on going to bed early taking that we have to wake up at 5:40 everyday for exercise but anyways. So the worship was fabulous and the lecture was also equally as great. So of course we sang this one song with a line about dancing in it, so buddy talked about it and inspired us all to dance just like God dances for us in Zepheniah. (and he was saying that when we feel like dancing, it's God moving through us because He dances around us -- he explained it better but anyways) So we all jumped around and danced and praised God for a while and then they expect us to go to sleep? Like really? anyways. I'm pooched.
Dance away everyone! God does it for us!

Snap Shots

So this is just us chilling before it got dark watching people grass slide. Landon's holding the guitar and Caitlyn's in the purple shirt, Daves holding the other guitar (in the white and grey Tshirt) beside Caitlyn.

Haha so this was Sunday night, at the River. Caitlyn and I were sliding down a grass hill on cardboard. Once we got sliding I somehow got rolled over by Caitlyn and got my back all scratched up from the dry grass.

This is Gingin? Maybe? haha I dunno, But the dark blue and grey water closest to the bottom is a fresh water lake and then the water in the background is the Indian ocean, how sick is that!?

Me and Caitlyn at City Beach. It was our Young People Day last Tuesday - a lot of fun. Great waves!

Character of God - Day 1

So we had class this morning at around 10 and last week I was a bit discouraged to say the least about the speaking situation; however, it was totally redeemed today.

So our topic right now is the Character of God and knowing God better. It was awesome. To start off the day we had base worship, so all the schools/staff etc gets together for worship. haha omg it was so much fun. The songs were so upbeat everyone was dancing and jumping and singing and no one cared. There was on song that I guess was Africa, so Richard, the leader of worship this morning, called up all the African people oon base up to the front to show us how to move like Africans to this one song. It was hilarious - we all just laughed and danced and had fun - it was amazing. So then the next song they were like, "So we do things a little differently here" and I was like, "uh oh" so they started singing this Banana song, and basically you repeat peel the banana (and shake your arms down, then squash the banana and clap, then shake the banana and shake your folded hands, and then go bananas. Haha so basically it was awesome SO fun. I loved it. We were all so hot and so sweaty after words. Richard was like, "if you're not sweating you're not doing it right" so we all just went crazy.

Okay so THEN we had class and our speaker this week is Cliff Wiener (sp?). It's really funny and very visual so it made it super simple to understand and get what he was saying. So many analogies and things I've never heard before. The class went by so fast and I couldn't not listen. He made a few points about how we have a built up representation of God based on our authority figures that lead us to falsly accuse God of being a "bad guy" or whatever, which really hit me, and that He's just waiting for us to open up so He can tell us all the secrets He wants us to know. One of the analogies he gave was of a child giving a crumpled weed to his mother as a gift and the mom responding by saying, "I love it, it's beautiful, thank you!" just because her child took time to get it. And so basically he said, that our worship to God is like that. It'll never be good enough but that doesn't matter because God loves it because it's coming from us. And then another one of my favs was the basketball analogy. That we need to talk on the court, or in the relationship, because there will always be a defender, a distraction, that clouds our view, so we need to be able to hear God clearly by making sure to have a clear and open relationship. Anyways, so I know this was long, but today was really exciting for me and I'm looking forward to my 7 pm class tonight.

Keep praying guys.

Oh ps. If you think about it theres a Bible for the Nations class waiting for $5000 funds for the their outreach still so they were trying to do that by the end of today - so if you think about it give a quick prayer that could would provide more than necessary to help out all those students.

Have a good week!

Thank Goodness It's Friday

So this week has gone by so fast but the days are really long. I get up around 6 - 6:30 AM every day to shower and get ready before doing the morning chores, then going to class right after they are done, then going to lunch right after that. An hour after lunch I do lunch clean up for 2 hours and all the kitchen duties to clean up and help prep for dinner. It's a really busy morning and afternoon. By 3:30 I have 2 hours before dinner (on some days) and then usually 1-2 hours after dinner we either have class, small group, one on ones, study breaks, or friday night meetings (which is pretty much church for the community). It's awesome though. I can hear them practicing right now for worship tonight - definitely stoked for that!

I still can't believe I'm here. Every day it sinks in a little more. I've been a little frustrated with the classes but they can only get better right? So I'm looking forward to that. We're really busy this weeked. Quenton and Landry (our school leaders) told us yesterday that we're going on a YP (my school) beach trip tomorrow to hang out and chill for the day so I'm really stoked for that too - it'll be awesome. I love the beaches here. Haha get this - Yesterday one of the girls in my room, Iban, busted into the room in a hype and said "guys guess what! all over the news in Australia they are talking about a shark at Scarbrough (sp?) (it's a beach we go to pretty often) and it was massve. Seriously guys it was huge! they could see it from the beach! they had to get the lifeguards and helicopters to try and scare it away! it was so crazy!" We all just laughed becuase it had happened last weekend as well. Only it wasn't all over the news.. and no one left the water except one of the guys here lol. Anyways. so that was the excitment of last night.

So I have homework to do and a lot of reading to catch up on for not doing it this week :S Im a slacker. Have a good weekend everyone. I'll write more in the upcoming few days.

First Week in Australia

It's still so unreal that I'm actually here, and with internet since it took so long. I'm glad that I can now keep in touch with everyone so easily.
My roommates are the coolest people. We have a lot of fun together.
We had worship for the first time as a base on Monday and it was ... amazing. I have never felt God closer that at the moment. It was unreal. All the staff and leaders are awesome - so much fun. We do a lot as a school. very family oriented.
Today we went to the City Beach - beautiful. The waves were massive. I still can't believe how strong the tide was omgosh. As soon as you step in you find yourself 20 metres down the beach with a mouth full of sand and burning eye balls haha. But it's definitely worth it :).
Im so glad Im here and didnt chicken out or anything. I got all my registration done today and all the books I need for class, so I guess I'm all set for everything to get started.

ps My tan rocks :)

Journals From The Air

Dec 31. 2008
So I'm now OFFICIALLY on my way to Australia. Im Sitting in the Pearson Airport hoping that everything goes as planned. Mom cried at the cried and I'm pretty sure Mikayla was on the brink of tears :) haha. Ya thats right Mik, I noticed. Ive been reading a lot and somehow still have 1 1/2 hours to go. ARG

January 1
Why anyone would want to fly extensive distances is beyong me. So no one met me in London. I somehow managed to get my way to the shuttle - no one was on it so I thought I was definitely on the wrong one. It took about 20 minutes taking up.. well 20 minutes of the 5 hours I had to waste in the Heathrow Airport. Everytime I even thought about asking for help, I wanted to cry.. or jump off a cliff .. either one.

So at this moment I am no somewhere between London and Singapore.
The sky is so dark. I have no idea how long I've been flying, but I do know that it was 10 AM when we boarded so the fact that it;s now dark is very STRANGE. It feels like Ive been sitting here for years. I don't want to bother the people next to me - they're sick - I better not catch it. It took everything in me to stay seated.

Its weird because everytime I look outside, It so dark but then as my eyes adjust I can see how the moon and stars lightly light up the land and water below us. It's amazing. The stars look like a hallow over the half moon right now. I love it. It doesnt look real. Not a cloud in the sky, at least not that I can see on the right side of the plane.

The sky is really dark now. It just looks like a hole we're flying throught.

Still unaware of the time.

January 2nd

Singapore is breath taking. Omgoodness. Flying in, we flew over a golf resort. I swear the country is made of 3 colours. Dark green, Light green and a mossy gray green. Its so beautiful. There are so many boats in the water -- it looks like a scene out of Troy haha.